Monday, 4 July 2016

Of Skinny Shaming & Fashion Blogging

I have been meaning to write this post for quite a while now, and there isn't a perfect time but now for me to do it after what I experienced last Friday.

But first, I wanna say how I got inspired to write this post. It was after I read Robyn's post on her thoughts on skinny shaming. I feel the exact same way.

Anyway, back to the incident that occurred to me.

I got publicly humiliated for being skinny. Apparently a stranger thought it was okay for him to make fun of my weight just because I'm all bones and no flesh. He also thought it was okay to tell me straight to my face that I should eat or else I'll endanger myself. Perhaps he meant well because he doesn't want anything to happen to me, but he sure didn't put my feelings into place. Worse, he even told me that he has never seen anyone as skinny as me.

Of course I should know better than to be affected. But it was the first time something like that happened to me. There were people looking at me as the stranger hurled the insults. And due to my anxiety, I couldn't even say anything back or retaliate. It was embarrassing and I felt awful.

If you think that what the stranger said to me is meant to be a "wake up call", think again. I am completely aware that I am thin. I am not suffering from any eating disorders, I am not starving myself. I DO eat and heck, I love eating! I just happen to be naturally thin from the start and no amount of food I consume can do me any justice, unfortunately. I have never asked to be born this way. In fact, I wish my metabolism rate is just the same as everyone else's. I feel abnormal.

What the stranger did was skinny shame me. Any form of body shaming is completely unacceptable and intolerable. Every one of us is entitled to love our bodies the way they are.

I have been struggling to love and accept my body for the way it is over the years because it is really important for all of us to love ourselves. If we don't, who else will?

I'm proud to say that I've gone out of the "skinny shame" rut, though. I get skinny shamed constantly and while it did get to me the first few times, now I'm invincible. When people I know joke about it I play along. Skeletons are my best friends. I already have learned to love and accept my fleshless body now. If I haven't, then this blog probably wouldn't have existed, and I wouldn't have the confidence to do outfit posts and share my personal style. Instead I'd probably be living my life in insecurity and constantly wallowing in self-pity.

Now that I am able to look at the bigger picture, how else would I know if a significant other can truly love me for who I am if I can't even love myself?

I am really blessed to have met someone who completely accepts and loves me for the way I am. He didn't even tell me to change anything about myself. He sees me as the most beautiful girl on Earth despite what the society may say. I find it impossible to believe that, though. But if my man already thinks I'm perfect to him, why would I bother with what anyone else has to say?

"Only dogs go for bones", "Real men love meat", blah blah, whatever. I certainly don't need that kind of shallow men in my life! REAL men go for whatever they love!

It really is annoying having to constantly justify myself to the world that I am naturally skinny and not starving myself, and it probably is something I have to deal with for the rest of my life (unless something miraculously happens and I'm suddenly of acceptable weight) but hey, we can never please society no matter what.

Thanks to loving myself, I have learned to be more confident and of my fashion blogging. I am able to express more freely. If you are curious as to how I did it, maybe Robyn's post on How To Get Confident With Fashion Blogging could help you! I agree with every single thing she listed there.

The real reason why I started fashion blogging is because I am comfortable with my own body and I love clothes. I love dressing up and mixing and matching outfits together and from there I discovered my own personal style. And it is through blogging do I get to share that said style. As I began taking more outfit photos and posting them on this blog I slowly learned to gain confidence. I was completely unaware that I had that confidence until a friend's friend mentioned that I sure don't seem to find getting my photos taken in public as I strike different poses as daunting (she was present at the time I was shooting outfit photos in a public space). I also have people tell me that they love my style. So that must mean it's a good thing, right?

The bottom line is, as long as you are comfortable with your own body, nobody has the right to judge it. Or even what you wear, for that matter.

Now, let's move on to the fun part. Showing love and appreciation to my favourite naturally skinny people!!

throwin' shapes for @cleo_singapore's change makers feature out next month ☺️ to be honest, I've never seen myself as a person to affect change. but a few months ago, a seemingly casual Facebook post by a stranger on my photo in #theatlasofbeauty photo project, questioned the validity of my appearance representing Singapore. I usually pay little heed to public opinion because my supply of fucks is limited, but that post exposed the underlying can of worms that is the superficial state of mentality of what a 'typical Singaporean' should look like (i.e. chinese) that made me stop to think. google Singaporean girl and 90% of the results dictate that race. I've had my fair share of experiences of subtle racism here, ironic because we boast about how diverse & multi-cultural we are (once ages ago, I asked a local online store why they rejected shooting me, and their answer? "no offense, but it's easier to shoot clothes on fairer skin") That one brief exchange stuck with me for so long, and it did affect me deeply. So when that Facebook post spread like wildfire, it was extremely humbling to witness strangers from every race speaking up on my behalf, and inciting healthy dialogue on other experiences relating to the issue. It happens more often than you think, but we brush it off because it happens so much it becomes a normality when it should'nt be. Subtle racism is still racism no matter what, & it's that mentality that stops our society from progressing & maturing mentally. as author C. Joybell C. puts it, 'Peel off our skin and we all bleed the same colour. We are all equal in the fact that we are all different. We are all the same in the fact that we will never be the same. We are united by the reality that all colours and all cultures are distinct & individual. We don't share the same skin, but we share the air that keeps us alive.' Unity in diversity ❤️ πŸ“Έ: @chelschan
A photo posted by Nadia (@skinnykatwoman) on

This is Nadia Rahmat, a Singapore-based model. She was chosen out of 50,000 people for a coveted spot in Marc Jacobs’ Spring 2015 ad campaign for Marc by Marc Jacobs. Which of course, sounds insane! I adore her because she has such an amazing amount of confidence and really doesn't care what people think of her. Other than getting haters after being chosen for the Marc Jacobs campaign, she has also faced some racial discrimination, but that still doesn't faze her. Good job. πŸ‘

I mentioned her on my post My Favourite Fashion Bloggers and it seems to me that if she has no problem making silly and quirky poses for her photos I guess she has great confidence! When one has confidence, one is comfortable with their body.

A photo posted by EJB (@elizabethjanebishop) on

A photo posted by EJB (@elizabethjanebishop) on

Another one of my favourite models, Elizabeth Jane Bishop. The first photo is pretty self-explanatory, haha. I don't think I could ever wear that bralet.

A photo posted by Unreal (@kimiperi) on

One of my favourite bloggers as of recently. Her style is great and sometimes she replies to people on her Instagram comments especially when asked about something in particular to the photo she posted. Whenever someone bashes her for her weight, she replies nicely to them, stating that she's just naturally skinny. What a sweetheart.

Now, bloggers and models aside, I also wanna give a special shoutout to my own skinny girlies πŸ’•

A photo posted by Ky (@flybunny24) on

ZUZU πŸ’œπŸ’œπŸ’œ

A photo posted by Leeyan Lyrael (@leeynzvk) on


Just a little disclaimer, I am in no way promoting thinspo, thinspiration, all that. 
In fact, I want to promote self-love!

Learn to love yourself and don't take shit from other people. 
Well take the good shit, not the bad one.

It doesn't take you to be skinny just to pull off a certain outfit. Any body type can be of confidence! Just look up the right ways to flatter your figure ;)

Before I end this post I wanna say a hugeee thank you to all those who left me such nice comments regarding the public humiliation incident (I posted a status about it on my Facebook). Thank you for telling me to ignore what the stranger said and for telling me that I am beautiful no mattter what. You all are wonderful. 

I also wanna let you lovely readers know of the exciting things that will be coming up weeks from now. I have a couple of outfits planned and I really can't wait to share them with you guys! Another thing, I might get started on YouTube. Two lookbook videos are in the making, eeeek! 

I hope you guys are excited about the news as much as I do. Since I will be new to the whole YouTube channel thing I would need your suggestions and ideas.

Anyway, I hope this post has been an eye-opener. I am not one to write such personal posts but I really had to flush this one outta my system.

Thanks for reading.